These days, it seems like everybody is travelling. Whether it’s a weekend getaway to a nearby seaside town or a three-month backpacking trip around Asia, everyone is on the go. I’ll go one step further and dare say that travelling might be one of the most widely mentioned hobbies by people (especially on dating sites). In a world so geared towards globetrotting, I can’t help but wonder – have I lost my wanderlust?
I’ve been travelling ever since I was a little girl. My mum and I would go on all kinds of holidays including cultural roundtrips; I used to do folk dancing that involved performing in different cities; and, last but not least, I moved abroad at the age of 17, resulting in a loooong series of moves, travels, country changes and trips abroad. I’m not a diplomat kid or a military brat, but for someone from my kind of background, I did quite a bit of travelling even when I was young. I had the pleasure of meeting different people on the go, tasting exquisite foods, seeing breathtaking landscapes, admiring majestic architecture… Even those summer trips to my grandmother’s house filled me with indescribable excitement despite the destination being exactly the same. I’ve had wanderlust before I even knew that the word existed. I first devoured the world through books and then via actually visiting places – something that amazed me every time. I didn’t mind waking up at the break of dawn to catch a flight or that the accommodation was filthy or that we got robbed (yes, that happened once…). Despite the difficulties, I was always up for a journey and eager to discover the treasures of this planet hidden from me so far.
This desire to travel stayed with me well into adulthood. One does not move into different countries every couple of years being indifferent to travel… As I grew older, I learnt more and more about the world surrounding me and kept longing to see move of it. From the greenery of the Cuban forest to the lively piazzas of Rome, I soaked it all up, comprehending a little more of this wonderful world with each trip. Later on, I also understood how these travels help me discover more about myself too. As I started travelling alone, I gained a better understanding of my own likes and dislikes, pushed myself out of my own comfort zone and dared to go roaming on my own. These experiences helped form who I am today, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to see so much of the world. To me, a journey to an unknown location is not just an impressive sight or a delicious local dish; it is also a chance to reflect on my own (in)significance and the life I’m living. Solo trips especially are a tough but much needed way to spend some time with and by myself to really get to know who I am.
Then, if travelling has been so important to me, why am I talking about having lost my wanderlust? Do I no longer feel a strange sort of excitement getting on a plane? Do I not want to see new landscapes and meet new people anymore? Do I not experience the joy of learning about other cultures and marvelling at fantastic buildings? The answer to all three questions is, of course, that I very much still do. Sitting on an airplane still gives me the same rush as it did the first time; gazing upon a previously unknown panorama is just as refreshing as before; finding out something peculiar about the place I’m visiting still gets my heart beating just a little faster. So, what has changed?
The answer is: me. I have changed. Not in a “new year, new me” kind of way, not even in an “I no longer eat carbs” way or an “I’ve decided to become a nun” way. I first thought it was because of my age which, granted, must be playing some part in this shift too. As I’ve gotten closer to (and then past) 30, I’ve noticed that, despite the new difficulties I’m encountering in life (“levelling up” has its perks and drawbacks…), I’m coming more and more into my own and feel, somehow, calmer about life in general. (And this is coming from someone with anxiety!) Although I am still an extremely curious person, I no longer feel overwhelmed by the pressing need to see and experience absolutely everything. Of course, I still have a bucket list with places I’d love to visit – but I also know I will be okay even if I don’t get to see them. I don’t want to sound pretentious, but I do feel that getting into my third X has helped me gain more perspective and feel more relaxed about my objectives in life, including my travel goals. (Having said that, I am aware how extremely lucky I have been to already have travelled so much at a young age – and I know that also has contributed to my “calming down”.)
But that’s not all there is to it. Ever since I moved abroad for the first time, I’ve been searching for a new home – a place where I feel like I belong. Although I have written about belonging before and how it doesn’t have to be a place, I’ve always felt like I wanted to find a place I can call home. During my travels and adventures, I’ve been searching high and low for a place where everything just – clicks. Of course, I knew perfection didn’t exist and difficulties would be present everywhere, but still: I was longing for the feeling of “home”. In 2018, when I moved to Spain for good, I finally sensed that I arrived. I was ready to settle down and build a home for myself. And, with that, my priorities changed. I was no longer interested in discovering one more hidden corner of Earth as much as I was in creating lasting bonds in the place that I chose to be my home. Instead of jetting off to some remote location to learn more about the local customs or see their mesmerising cities, I opted for deep-diving into the Valencian language and going for hikes in the region. Rather than desiring to try delicacies of cuisines not yet known to me, I felt more drawn to learning how to enjoy a good esmorzaet.
Although these actions were conscious choices that I made, they also came from a place of true transformation in terms of my priorities. It’s not that I no longer wanted to travel – I just found a different kind of adventure more appealing. At the same time, I found that I can learn more about myself by discovering the place I now call home, without the need to travel to extreme locations or discover the amazing wonders that fill our Earth. And, as I quoted Sándor Márai in a previous post: “Learning about the world is interesting, useful, delightful, frightening or instructive; getting to know ourselves is the greatest journey, the most terrifying discovery, the most instructive encounter”. Learning a new idiom in Valenciano together with its origin made me reflect on language and its role in humanity’s life (and my life) while helping me better understand the people that surround me. Participating in Les Falles is an experience where words fall short to describe the cacophony of sounds, sights and smells that overflow every square inch of the city – and I got to enjoy it as a half-outsider, half-insider, gaining a singular experience in itself. Figuring out a bureaucratic process and accomplishing the end goal all by myself proved to be an unparalleled feat that may or may not have filled me with more excitement than visiting any museum or cathedral anywhere in the world. With every journey I forwent for the sake of creating a home, I earned a little piece of “localness” – and I’m more for it.
So, where does that leave me in terms of travelling? Have I lost my wanderlust? The simple answer is no. I still very much enjoy discovering new landscapes and cultures, near or far. I am probably never going to stop wanting to travel and see new places (or re-visit familiar ones) to enjoy myself and, possibly, share the experience with others. However, the insane desire to either be on holiday or be planning one has subsided in recent years. I am working hard towards building a life from which I don’t need a holiday but feel content in for the most part. And while I look forward to the occasional trip, I am fully aware that its contribution to my general well-being and personality is limited. I have the feeling that I stand to gain just as much if not more by continuously working on my “regular” life and taking time to reflect on the journey I’m taking at home. That might mean fewer photos of breathtaking sunsets and a lower supply of kitschy souvenirs – but I’m hoping to gain added perspective and a more rooted existence instead. And while my way might not suit everyone, I know I’m satisfied with the life I’m living – wanderlust or not.
Living abroad as a millennial 