Dare to embrace mediocrity

The way things stand today, being common, ordinary, average or mediocre is considered almost worse than not doing well at something. These words have gained a pejorative meaning and many of us would do anything not to be called mediocre. I, however, think that we should all dare to embrace mediocrity.

Wherever we look, we are bombarded by information about excellence. Winners of competitions, encouraging headlines of rags-to-riches billionaires, university rankings… There is almost no area of life where being outstanding or doing something extraordinary is not what is being rewarded. It is all about winning, being first, earning more, trading up…. And there is no end in sight to this trend. Whether we turn on the news, talk to a friend or browse a magazine (okay, let’s face it, it’ll most likely be scrolling TikTok or Instagram), we see this extreme push for excellence at work, at the gym and in the home. Most podcasts that are meant to be encouraging and helpful have this coaching mindset of “you could do anything if you just tried harder”, pushing us to overcome every barrier real or imagined and become start entrepreneurs/the world’s best parents/beauty queens – aka. anything that shows we’re exceptional.

Except we are not. And I don’t mean it in a bad way! Although we are each unique in what we bring to the world and are incredibly special for the people in our lives, we, in the grand scheme of things, are just like anybody else. Whether we make more money, have more followers on social media, have appeared in more scientific journals or actually cured cancer, we are still people. We have a lot more in common with complete strangers than we think. You and I might both cry tears of joy when seeing an incredibly small puppy; you and that guy on your daily commute may support the same football team; the lady behind you at the grocery store perhaps also likes to dance crazy in the shower. We all share this beautiful, heart-wrenching, mesmerising, arduous human experience called life, no matter how “well” or “badly” (by society’s standards) we are doing at it.

So, if we’re so similar and share largely the same experiences and quirks, why has it become so important to be great – and why is “mediocre” considered almost an insult? My guess is that it’s (partly) because we’re made to believe that excellence equals a good life, and by “good” I mean happy and purposeful. The messages we receive throughout our lives boil down to the same thought: that the perceived quality of our lives depends on what we achieve measured by external, often arbitrary standards. Unfortunately, almost everyone does this, from detergent-selling companies and their marketing schemes to self-help gurus to governments. And we mostly buy into it! We try hard to excel in every area of our lives – only to end up, more often than not, disappointed because we feel like we’re failing. We compare ourselves to supermodels when it comes to looks, trust fund millionaires regarding finances, professional chefs in terms of cooking skills… We keep looking upwards, chasing higher and higher standards and we’re surprised when we can’t keep up. With all this push for greatness in hopes of a happier life, we end up feeling more unhappy than before.

So what if we just accepted our lives the way they are – mediocre? By definition, average (an often-used synonym of mediocre) simply means normal, common, the arithmetic mean. By simple mathematic logic, we cannot all be excellent – so why are we fighting it? What if we stopped trying so hard to swim in those massive waves and just learnt how to float and enjoy the ride? What if, hear me out, we accepted that, although we will be dearly remembered by friends and family, our lives will probably not be remarkable or book-worthy, at least not by society’s current standards? (To be fair, though, everyone is writing an autobiography these days, so who knows.) What if, instead of finding this thought depressing, we sought comfort in it? Instead of feeling down about not being the next Elon Musk or Mother Theresa, why don’t we find solace in not being subjected to the constant pressure to do exceptional things? What if, for once, we focused our energies on alternative, perhaps more real ways of leading a happy life?

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t work towards greatness or strive to achieve wonderful things. Anything that pushes us to grow and learn, whether it’s an extra set of burpees, a new dinner recipe, an additional work project, a brand-new hobby or anything else our heart desires, is a wonderful addition to our lives that is bound to have an enriching effect. By all means we should try a new hairstyle, start building our own furniture or enter the chess tournament! But the reason should not be to be prettier than everyone else, or to make the best furniture ever made by humans, or to be the next Judit Polgár. It should not be about winning, sometimes at all costs. Instead, we should do these things because they bring us joy or help us learn a skill we wish we had or simply to fill our time with things we can get lost in and not notice the hours that go by.

Besides, even though we may never make the news with our record-breaking accomplishments, we can still contribute to creating a better life and a better world for others. We might not be able to make Bill Gates-worthy donations to charity – but we can support our town’s homeless shelter with a few euros a month. We may not be able to redesign the crumbling educational system – but we can organise an after-school club for the neighbourhood kids to teach them about our field. It’s unlikely that we will gain fortune and fame with our actions – but a well-lived mediocre life does have the power to have an incredible impact on those who surround us, making us happier and more fulfilled in the process.

Leading a content and meaningful life is not about being smarter/richer/skinnier than everyone else – because there will always be someone who’s smarter/richer/skinnier than we are. And the sooner we can recognise that and accept our lives for what it is, the sooner we can start living it for real – for ourselves.